You can create whatever life that you would like to live. But only if you are willing to receive it. In today’s post, we will be discussing how learning to receive is so important to heal you feminine energy. But also because if you don’t, you may be pushing away the very thing you are wanting more of.
Learning to receive is one of the most important things that you can do as you embark on the journey of healing your feminine energy. It can help you create the life you have always wanted. But if you don’t, you could subconsciously be pushing away the very things that you are wishing to have.
Society teaches women to abandon themselves. To put ourselves last. That our needs should be at the bottom. If we even put ourselves on the list. And so many of us adopt this way of thinking. The one that tells us that a ‘good woman’ should be selfless. We don’t question it.
Receiving is not easy for a lot of us. Especially those of us who are used to being the ‘helper’. The one that everybody turns to when they have a problem. We feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. But we have such a hard time accepting help.
It’s not that we don’t want to receive, its that somewhere along the way, we learned it was easier to handle everything ourselves to avoid disappointment. We decided that we were the only ones that could do it the ‘right way’. Maybe help felt conditional, so it made you weary of other people’s intentions when they offered, like it did for me.
But the more you push it away, the less people stop asking. Because what message are you sending? People start to believe that you are the ‘strong one’, they start to think, ‘oh she likes to handle things on her own’. Eventually people do stop asking. Meanwhile, you are sitting there wondering, why you are the one always doing for others, but no one takes the time to do it for you.
You are pushing away the very thing that you are wanting the most.
And the type of people you are going to be attracting are the ones that need you. The ones that are seeking a strong person in their lives. The ones that look for you to be their savior. And then your stuck in this vicious cycle. Of wanting help, but attracting those that look to you for help.
You may be the one that gets stuck with more things at work because people just assume you can handle it all. And you care too much to let things fall to the wayside. So its continues to get piled on, and you feel overwhelmed, anxious, and resentful.
The reality is, you do not have to live your life this way. It’s a choice that you are making every day. Trust me, I know because this used to be me. I was the ‘strong one’, the one everyone turned to with their problems. The one that was constantly anxious from all the doing. My nervous system was so dysregulated and I was walking around feeling jaded and irritated.
It wasn’t until I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be the ‘strong one’.
I wanted a life full of ease and peace, and joy. I wanted to be able to receive easily. I no longer wanted to be the person everyone turned to for their problems. I wanted relationships that felt reciprocal and genuine. So I had to learn a new way of being. I had to figure what what someone who received easily was doing on a day to day bases. And then I chose to adopt those ways of being.
5 Ways to Start Learning to Receive
1. Fill your Own Cup First
We hear it all of the time. But for someone reason it’s so hard to do. Here is the thing. You have to be willing to give to yourself as much as you give to other people, if not more. Because you cannot genuinely give from an empty cup. So figure out ways that you can fill your cup first thing in the morning. And I say first thing, because that is when we can be sure to make it happen. Don’t wake up first thing in the morning and scroll on the news, social media, or check your emails. You have time to do that later. Figure out what you enjoy and spend time doing that.
Some things you can do
- Wake up early and enjoy your cup of coffee in silence
- Journal- I love morning pages as a way to brain dump all of my thoughts, but you can do the gratitude journal, journal prompts, or reflections.
- Exercise- there are so many benefits to working out in the morning
- Go on a walk- Connect with nature, listen to your favorite podcast, listen to affirmations
2. Learn to Receive a Compliment
This one may be tough. So many of us deflect any sort of kind words because it’s hard for us to be kind to ourselves. Ways we deflect:
“Your hair looks cute”
‘Oh, its so dirty I need to wash it’
“I love your dress”
This old thing? I got it at the thrift store for like $10
Instead of deflecting, we are going to learn to just say “thank you.” You may need to walk away at first. But overtime, it will get easier and you can thank them for the kind words.
3. Delegate: You don’t have to do it all
This one will be interesting, because you will start to realize some of the relationship dynamics you have created. You will also realize how easy it is for other people to say no. Not that its a bad thing. But it may come as a shock to you. Especially for those that have a hard time saying no. It’s all just information though. Not only will this give you permission to start saying no when you don’t want to do something. But it will also help you see which relationships are genuine.
And listen, sometimes people are really not able to help you with the thing that you asked. And that’s ok. Instead of getting angry and reverting to your old way of being of not asking for help. Just use it as information.
I know I had a hard time asking for help because I was very controlling and wanted things done a certain way. But this way of being left me exhausted. So when I started to ask my husband for help around the house, it took everything in me not to jump in and take control of the situation or tell him how to do something. I simply just had to walk away.
Because, everyone has their own way of doing things. And guess what? It gets done. Maybe not in the way that you may have done it. But its done. And its a thing off of your to do list. Use that extra time to rest and do something you enjoy.
4. Stop and Smell the Roses
Look around. In what ways are things going right in your life? Sometimes, we get so caught up in the mundane, that we forget to stop and realize all of the beauty life has to offer. All of the ways that the universe is gifting us. Try to show gratitude and appreciation when things work out in your favor. Receive.
- You pull into a busy parking lot and someone pulls out at that exact same time. “Thank you universe for this parking spot” (Insert whatever higher power you believe in).
- You have something in your online shopping cart and decide to hold off for a night. The next day there is a flash sale on that exact item. “Thank you so much, you knew I’ve been wanting this.”
- You see a beautiful sunset and it makes your day. “Thank you for your beauty”
- Something that you have been worried about ends up working out in your favor. “Thank you for always having my back.”
Life is showing us everyday how abundant we are. We just have to stop and be present enough to see. To receive them. They don’t have to be these grand things. They can be simple things. When you stop and smell the roses, you train your brain to see how blessed and highly favored your are.
5. Affirm
Affirm everything that you want to happen in your life.
- “Everyday I am learning to receive”
- “I attract people who love to help me”
- “All of my relationships are reciprocal and genuine”
- “Rest is something I do daily, its not something I have to earn.”
- “As I learn to receive, life gets easier and easier for me”
Whatever it is that you want more of in your life. Affirm it. Your mind is always listening. The universe is always listening. You can create the life that you are wanting. So long as you are willing to receive it.
Because you are worthy of it. You deserve it. And I know it can be hard to believe this sometimes. Especially when we put our self-worth outside of ourselves. When we only see ourselves as valuable if we are doing things for other people. But as I mentioned before, you do not have to live your life this way. You can choose a different way of being. One that allows for receiving. That allows you to rest. That knows that true giving can only be done when our own cups are full first.
And I’m not saying you have to stop caring or taking care of other people. I just want you to realize how important it is for you to offer the same amount of care for yourself as you give to other people.
And it’s a lot easier said than done. When you have been a certain way for so long, it’s hard to see that there even is another way to be. But I know you’re exhausted. And there is something that brought you to this post. If you are ready to start your journey of healing the feminine. If you would like to be held, like you hold space for other people, if you would like someone who has been on this journey to help you see the new path, I would love to help support you.
Click here to discuss how I can help support you on your journey of learning how to receive.
