Sometimes we are ready for change, sometimes were not. A lot of us stay stuck in a way of being because we don’t like change. But today I am going to share the importance of why you have to be okay with change and be willing, if you are wanting to live a life of alignment.
If you want your life to change, then you have to be willing to change. And that sounds so simple, but it’s probably one of the hardest things to do. We humans really like things to be the same.
And your brain really likes for things to be the same too. So although we may say that we want something, we often don’t take the steps to do it. Because oftentimes it’s a lot easier to stay where you’re at than to go into the unknown.
Whatever You Are Not Changing, You Are Choosing
Whenever you are wanting to sit in the same place, even though you’re unhappy, even though you don’t feel fulfilled, even though it doesn’t feel aligned or authentic to you, when you are choosing to stay in that place by not changing whatever it is that you’re wanting to change, then you’re choosing this life.
There’s a saying that my mom always says whenever I’m sharing something about somebody with her and they are unhappy with their life. She would always say, “les gusta la mala vida” which means they like the struggle. They like to suffer in life or they like the bad life really is what it translates to. It means that people will stay situations they are unhappy with because we don’t want to deal with the discomfort of change. So they’re willing to live a life of struggle or of suffering, because they’re comfortable in that space. Well, not necessarily comfortable, but it’s predictable.
It’s so much easier to stay in that than to put in the effort that it takes to actually start making the changes in your life.
Both Choices Are Uncomfortable
You have to decide, because both things are uncomfortable, right?
- You have the discomfort of being unhappy with your life and feeling unfulfilled and feeling unaligned.
- Or you have the discomfort of pursuing the life that you want and going through things like fear and working through all of your limiting beliefs
Both of them have discomfort in them. So you have to decide which one you would rather live with.
Doing the Same Thing and Expecting a Different Result
So many people complain about how they’re unhappy with their lives. Or how we wish things were different, but are not willing to do things differently. And as that saying goes, ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.’ That’s exactly what so many of us are doing in our day to day lives, where we’re just really unhappy, but we’re not changing anything about it.
But if you’re not willing to change what you’re unhappy with, then you are blocking the very thing that you’re wanting in your life.
And although there is discomfort in feeling like you’re unfulfilled in life, there’s also comfort in knowing what to expect. That’s why a lot of people stay in the same situations that they’re in, because the brain really does like comfort. It’s so much easier for it to do the same thing over and over again and save its energy for an emergency, right?
You Don’t Have to Like Change, But you Have to Be Willing and Okay With It
You have the ability to change your life into one that feels more aligned to you, but you have to be willing. You have to be willing to change and you have to be okay with change.
A lot of people say they hate change and so they stay stuck in the same place. You don’t have to like change to be okay with it, but as a person, change is really important. As you learn new things, as you get to know yourself better, as you figure out what it is that you want your life to look like, it’s important to take the necessary steps towards this new version of you in order to start creating a life that feels more aligned to you.
I know a big excuse that people have about why they’re not able to change is because of time. There are all these restrictions as to why they’re not able to change their lives. But one thing I want you to consider is why are you so willing to put effort into everybody else’s stuff versus what it is that you want in your life?
I remember a time when wanted to change, but I had so many excuses as to why I didn’t have enough time to make any changes in my life. I was putting all of my energy into work. My whole life revolved around it. Sunday’s I spent the day getting myself ready for the work week. Monday through Friday was all about my job. And then after work, I was just so exhausted and so tired and so depleted that I didn’t have any energy to do anything else for myself.
Once I decided that I was actually going to start taking steps to changing my life and making it more aligned for myself, I realized that I got energy from doing the things that I love. From tapping into this aligned version of myself. From working on my goals and the things that I wanted in my life. I stopped giving all of my energy towards my job and towards the relationships in my life. I started filling my own cup. And when I did that, I started getting my energy back. I started getting my spark back.
Changing My Way of Being
For a really long time in my life, I was very in my masculine and I lived my life in a very masculine way. I did not allow time for rest. My self worth was tied to my productivity and achieving. I was constantly worried and anxious. Deep down, even though I was achieving so many things, I was really unhappy.
What I really wanted was to be a woman that lived a life of ease. That was able to get things done, but also knew how to enjoy life and how to rest. So I really had to go through a process of healing my feminine energy and let go of this ‘doer’ identity.
In the beginning, I really felt disconnected from this version of myself. I had let all of my conditioning form an identity that disconnected me from her. So I had to get back to her. I had to figure out what her mindset was and get really clear on who she was, so that I could tap into that version of myself.
And I slowly adopted different things that she would be doing until I became her. I don’t even remember when it was that I actually felt like, okay, I’m here now. I just remember looking back and being like, oh my gosh, I’m trusting life. And oh my gosh, I’m not really worried anymore. And oh my gosh, I don’t put all my self worth in doing anymore. And I don’t beat myself up when I’m resting. When did this happen?
But it was because I was willing to make those changes that I was able to tap into this version. And don’t get me wrong, these are patterns. These are learned behaviors that I had adopted over my life. So I still have to remind myself to not go back to old conditioning. But because I was willing to change and I was okay with changing, that’s the only way I was able to get to where I am now.
If All You’re Doing is Complaining…
This may be a little bit of tough love for you. But if you are somebody who just complains about your life and you’re in a constant state of victim mentality. If you have every excuse in the book as to why you can’t change your life, I’ll tell you what my coach told me: ‘if you keep fighting for your limitations, then you get to keep them.’
There’s a big difference between having a bad day and venting about your day and releasing that energy, versus being a victim to your circumstances. It’s really hard to be around somebody that has that negative outlook and that negative perspective on life, not only for the people around you, but also for you to be in that mindset.
If you are not willing to change something, it’s okay. But just be honest with yourself. If you are in this space and you know you don’t want to do anything about it, even if you’re unhappy with it, then you have to find the silver lining about your situation instead of being the victim and complaining all the time. Figure out how you can change your perspective on it, just so that you can be okay with where you’re at without having all of that inner turmoil.
5 Things You Can Control While Building Your Aligned Life or Finding the Silver Lining Until You Are Ready to
1. Your Mindset and Your Approach to Life
I kind of already mentioned this. It really is all about finding the silver lining sometimes, and being neutral to things. Because when we are in a space of lack, when we’re just really unhappy, it’s extremely draining.
So figure out how you can create a mindset that supports you. One that looks at the glass half full and has a positive outlook on life. Not toxic positivity, but a positive outlook on life in general. That will help you along your journey as you’re starting to make these changes. Because this is what will keep you going when you have a bad day. When you feel like nothing is changing. When you feel like you’re just stuck. Having that glass half full mentality is going to help you to keep going when things get hard.
2. Your Self Worth
This is something that you have to heal. Because if you are wanting to change your life but you don’t feel like you deserve it, then unconsciously you’re going to be self sabotaging without realizing it.
So learn that anything outside of you does not matter. Whatever you achieve, how you show up for other people, ect., you do these things because you want to. Not because they are tied to your self worth. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. You are worthy because you are alive and you’re a human being.
You have to work through those parts of you that don’t feel deserving of something, because they’re not true. That means learning to have self forgiveness and self compassion and speaking kindly to yourself. That’s how you build your self worth. It’s not an easy thing. But if you can work on it every single day, it’ll get easier over time.
And this may be the thing that pushes you towards taking action, even if you feel like you are not ready to.
3. Your Daily Actions
Consistency is what’s going to help you progress over time. Do it in a way that feels sustainable. Slow, consistent action is so much better than going full force on something for a couple of weeks and then just stopping.
Sometimes these things are tangible. Sometimes they’re intangible.
But everyday, remind yourself of what you can control and work on those things. Soon enough, you will turn around and see how much progress you have made.
4. Who You Surround Yourself With
Be very careful of who you allow into your inner circle. Sometimes we’re around people who are really negative or are also complainers. It’s sort of an accepted trait for a lot of people. So we continue hanging out with them, not realizing that they are depleting our energy or they are reinforcing parts of ourselves that we are wanting to change.
Really think about relationship dynamics and who you feel energized around and who you feel depletes you. Ask yourself if your relationships are reciprocal.
Make an intentional effort to distance yourself from the people that don’t feel aligned anymore and move towards the people that do.
5. Boundaries
These are the boundaries that you have for yourself on what you are going to allow yourself to do.
Maybe that means that Monday through Friday you are not going to scroll on social media, and you’re not going to watch TV, and after work you’re going to work on yourself or do something that brings joy into your life. Maybe it’s having boundaries about how much sleep you’re going to be giving yourself. Protect your energy from the things that don’t align.
All you can control are the boundaries that you have for yourself. Of course, you want other people to respect your boundaries, but they may not be willing to do so. The boundaries that you have for yourself are what’s really important.
Change Is All About the Choices You Make
Change is all about the choices that you make in your life. That’s it. It’s so simple. We as humans, we like to complicate things. Just because things are simple doesn’t mean that they’re easy.
I feel like we tend to complicate things because we feel like we have to make these grand changes in order to see results in our life. The most lasting changes that I have had in my life are the ones that I just worked at and chipped away at as consistently as possible every single day. To the point where, like I mentioned, I didn’t even realize I was living it until I took a moment to step back and was like, ‘wow, the person that I wrote that I wanted to be, I’m living that life now.’
But it was because I was taking that consistent action. Over time, the change happened, versus what I initially thought in my head, which was that it was going to be quick and easy. That’s a mindset that I want you to be aware of because I feel like we want our results yesterday. We want things to happen quickly. And if they don’t happen quickly, then we give up. But you’re not going to get anywhere if you give up on what it is that you are wanting.
And sometimes it feels like this isn’t going to do anything. This isn’t going to change anything because it feels so small. But I promise you, these small actions are what get you to living an aligned life, so long as you are consistently working towards them every single day.
And if you are not ready to take action, then focus on the things you can do to find the silver lining about your situation. I get it, I’ve been there too…
Work with Me
But if you are ready to tap into alignment and live a life that feels authentic and true to you, you just don’t know where to start or this feels too grand for you and you want some support through it. Or maybe you would like some accountability. I would love to help support you through your journey. I help women start living their lives for themselves and create a life that feels aligned.
